Men 

Q: If fathers have Father's Day, and mothers have Mother's Day,?.what do single guys have?A: Palm Sunday.

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind2. No business.

Q. How can you tell if a man is sexually exited?A. He's Breathing.

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie,each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall talesbegins.The first says, ''I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands.''The second can't stand to be bested. ''Why that's nothing. I was walkingdown the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under arock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bitits head off, and sucked the venom down in one gulp. And I'm still heretoday.''The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.

Q: Why do men name their penis?A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of theirdecisions.

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person whomakes all their decisions.

If men had PMS/PMT, what would happen?a. The federal government would allocate funds to study it.b. Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.c. There would be a federal holiday every 28 days

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.What do men dream of?Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls.

Q. Why is the book ''Women Who Love Too Much'' a disappointment for many men?A. No phone numbers.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?Put the remote control between his toes.

Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar?A:OUCH!Sent by Sarah

Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?A. In the pages of a romance novel.

What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?An insurance company.

Q: What's the ultimate rejection?A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Billy was 14 and just started jerkin off. He loved to jerk off. However, one day, his dad walked in on him while he was jerkin off! Billy was so embarrassed. He pulled up his pants as quick as he could. But, his dad already seen him.''Billy,'' said his dad, ''doing that will make you go blind''''Dad,'' he replied, ''I'm over here!''

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: What does a man and a floor have in common? A: You lay them right the first time you can walk all over them forever!!