Old age jokes 

Seventy-two-year-old Edgar recently picked a

new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab
tests,
the doctor said Edgar was doing ''fairly well'' for his
age.

A little concerned about that comment, Edgar couldn't resist asking

the doctor, ''Do you think I'll live to be 80?''

The doctor
asked, ''Well, do you smoke or drink beer?''

''Oh no,'' Edgar
replied, ''I've never done either.''

Then the doctor asked, ''Do you eat
rib-eye steaks and bar-b-qued
ribs?''

Edgar said, ''No, I've
heard that all red meat is very unhealthful!''

''Do you spend a
lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?'' the
doctor
asked.

''No, I don't,'' Edgar replied.

Then the doctor asked, ''Do you
gamble, drive fast cars, or run around
with women?''

''No,''
Edgar said, ''I don't do any of those things.''

The good doctor
looked at Edgar and said, ''Then why the heck do you
want to live to
be 80?''

Grandpa: You youngsters are soft and lazy

today. When I was your age I got up at six o'clock every morning and

walked five or six miles before breakfast. I used to think nothing
of it.
Fred: I don't blame you, Grandpa. I wouldn't think,much of
it
myself.

An American tourist found himself in a sleepy
country village, and
asked one of the locals the age of the oldest
inhabitant.
''Well, sir,'' replied the villager, ''we ain't got one
now. He died
last week.''

Fred: I haven't slept a wink for the past two
nights.
Harry: Why's that?
Fred: Granny broke her leg. The
doctor put it in plaster and told her
she shouldn't walk upstairs.
You should hear the row when she climbs up
the drainpipe.

How can you tell that
you're getting old?

You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

Are you
getting older and wiser?
No,
he's getting older and wider!

A grandmother was telling her
little
granddaughter what her own childhood was like: ''We used to skate
outside
on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in

our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the

woods.''
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she
said, ''I
sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!''