Christmas Jokes 

A football supporter's favourite

Christmas song?
'Yule never walk alone'

What's a hairdressers's favourite
Christmas song?
'Oh comb all ye faithful'

Who delievers elephants's Christmas
presents?
Elephanta Claus !

'Father Christmas has two
reindeer. He
calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell
me
why he does that!'
'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said.
'Because
tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'

What reindeer can jump higher than a
house?
They all can! Houses can't jump!

Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the
beach ?
Because he didn't want to be recognised !

What game do reindeer play in their
stalls?
Stable-tennis!

What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas
song?
Jungle bells.

What's Christmas called in England
?
Yule Britannia !

Dear Father Christmas, could you please

send me some Crocodile shoes!.
Father Christmas: Can't do that one.
He hasn't said what size his
crocodile takes!

Dear Father
Christmas, this Christmas
could you please send me a yellow door.
Yours, Sherlock
Holmes
Watson: So why do you want a yellow door Holmes?
Lemon-entry my dear
watson.

'Father
Christmas has two reindeer. He
calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I
bet you can't tell me
why he does that!'
'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said.
'Because
tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'

I remember when Father Christmas first
passed his
sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the
toy factory.'Have
you passed?' I asked.
Father Christmas pointly
proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for
yourself!' he called
proudly. 'No-el plates!'

What does Father Christmas call his money
?
Iced lolly ?

One time Father Christmas lost his
underpants.
That's how he got the name Saint Knickerless!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at
Christmas ?
Santa Jaws !

How long does it take to burn a candle down
?
About a wick !

A group of mountain
climbers once heard
Father Christmas go past.
They must have had sharp ears!
They
were mountain-ears!

Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us

oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an
orange!
Have you tried playing squash?

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas

?
A merry Christmas to ewe