Ethnic 

A Jewish man has just won the lottery and invites his family to adinner. He then stands up to thank everyone. ''First I must thank my beautiful wife for her help and support, thenI want to thank my children, and the lottery commission.'' ''Then I would like to thank Adolf Hitler''. Suddenly everyone wassilent as he showed some numbers tatooed on his forearm and said,''For the winning numbers''.

A Chinese man is making love to his wife. He whispers in her ear,''Baby, I wanna' 69!''She gives him a strange look and replies, ''You want Beef and Broccoli NOW?''

Why can't black women become nuns?They can't say superior after mother.

What did the mongoloid say to his dog?Downsyndrome!!

A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when anunfortunate incident occurred.Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toiletfor the morning's relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up.When she sat, she kept going!She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammedinto the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up infront of her.She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour trieddesperately to extricate her.In this process they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left hernaked and still stuck, with a particular part of her anatomy prominentlyvisible between her splayed legs.Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber,despite the embarrassing nature of their problem.When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they werewalking to the bathroom, the young man realized that his wife wasexposed in a very compromising and humiliating way.Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber and placed the first thing hecould think of, his yarmulke skull cap, over his wife's exposedprivates.The plumber walked into the bathroom, took one long look, and commented:''Well, I think I can save your wife, buddy, but the Rabbi's a goner.''

How do you circumcise a redneck?Kick his sister in the chin.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irishfuneral?One less drunk.

why did Santa Anna bring only 4000 troops to the Alamo?he only had 2 cars.

So this Mexican dude was taking a piss on the side of a buildingand this white dude sees him. After the Mexican is done the whiteguy asks him, ''How come you Mexicans don't wash your hands afteryou pee?''And the Mexican guy replies, ''Because we Mexicans don't piss inour hands''

Why don't mexicans have barbeques?the beans keep slipping through the grill.

Why don't mexicans have checking accounts?It's too hard to spray paint your name on the little line.

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes toAustin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says ''I want my $20 million.''To which the man replied, ''No, sir. It doesn't work that way.We give you a million today, and then you'll get the restspread out for the next 19 years.'' The Redneck said, ''Oh, no. I want all my money RIGHTnow! I won it, and I want it.'' Again the man patiently explains that he would only get amillion that day and the rest during the next 19 years. The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, ''Look, IWANT MY MONEY!! If you're not going to give me my $20million ''right now,'' THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!!

Why can't you circumcise Iranians? - There's no end to those pricks.

What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner? Reservations.

The first Jewish woman President is elected.She calls her Mother: ''Mama, I've won the elections,you've got to come to the swearing-in ceremony.''''I don't know, what would I wear?''''Don't worry, I'll send you a dressmaker''''But I only eat kosher food''''Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get you kosher food''''But how will I get there?''''I'll send a limo, just come mama''''Ok, Ok, if it makes you happy.The great day comes and Mama is seated between the Supreme CourtJustices and the Future Cabinet members, she nudges the gentlemanon her right. ''You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible?''...''Her brother's a doctor!''

Q: How do Redneck mothers know when their daughters are having theirperiod?A: Their son's dicks taste funny!

A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. Heputs his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at hismother and says ''Look Momma, I'm a white boy.'' His mother slaps him hardon the face and says ''Boy, go show your Daddy.'' The boy goes into theliving room and says ''Look Daddy, I'm a white boy.'' His Daddy slaps himon the face, too and says, ''Boy, go show your grandmother.'' So the boygoes to see his grandma and says ''Look Granny, I'm a white boy.'' Sheslaps him on the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says''Well, did you learn something from all this?'' The boy shakes his headand says ''I sure nuff did, I've only been a white boy for five minutesand I already hate you black people''.

Question: What is every Amish woman's private fantasy? Answer: Two Mennonite!

How do we know that the ''Toothbrush'' was invented in West Virginia? - Had it been invented anywhere else it would have been called a ''Teethbrush''.

What do you call a gay Indian? A brave sucker!