Monster jokes 

Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs
at
him?
Of course - he'd be eggs-terminated.

What do young female monsters do at parties
?
They go around looking for edible bachelors !

What does the hungry monster get after he's

eaten too much ice cream?
More ice cream!

What's the difference between a dim monster
and a
birthday candle?
The candle is a thousand times
brighter!

Why did the monster put the
cake in the
freezer?
Because he had been told to ice it.

1st Monster: What is that son of
yours
doing these days ?
2nd Monster: He's at medical school.
1st
Monster: Oh, what's he studying ?
2nd Monster: Nothing, they're studying
him!

First monster: That
pretty girl over there
just rolled her eyes at me.
Second monster: Well you'd better roll
them back to her, she might
need them.

Why did the monster get a ticket at
Thanksgiving dinner?
He was exceeding the feed limit!

Girl Monster 1: ''I hear you've met the

perfect guy.''
Girl Monster 2: ''Oh yes, he's a bad dream come
true!''

How does a
monster begin a fairy
tale?
''Once upon a slime . . .''

What monster plays the most April Fool's

jokes?
Prankenstein!

What would you get if you crossed a monster

with a Thanksgiving dessert?
Bumpkin pie!

What's the difference between a monster

and a mouse?
A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.

Did you hear
about the monster with five
legs?
His trousers fit him like a glove.

What's big and ugly and drinks
out of the
wrong side of the glass?
A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.

Why did the monster dye her hair yellow?
To
see if blondes have more fun.

How do you stop a monster from
smelling?
Cut off his nose.

Where do you find monster snails?
On the
end of monsters fingers.

Where do space monsters live?
In far
distant terror-tory.

An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven

legs walked into a tailors shop.
'Quick!' shouted the tailor
to his assistant. 'Hide the ''Free
Alterations'' sign!'