Dentist jokes 

believe that the members of the dental

profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her
mouth and
get away with it.

Patient:Do you extract teeth
painlessly?
Dentis: ''Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my
wrist

Dentist: ''You don't need to open your mouth
any
wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside.''

Patient to Dentist: ''How much to get my teeth

straightened?''
''Twenty thousand bucks'' Patient heads for the
door.
Dentist to patient: ''Where are you going?''
''To a plastic
surgeon to get my mouth bent.''

Patient: How much to
have this tooth
pulled?
Dentist: With pain $200 and without pain $100.

Patient:
Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain.

Without
anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the

tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh !!!!!

Hey, WITH pain it
costs $200 !!!, replies the dentist.

What's worse
than having your doctor tell
you that you have VD?
Having your dentist tell you.

''Did you get
your money?'' ask the wife of
the dentist who had just return from the
delinquent patient's
home.
''Not a cent,'' growled the dentist, ''and worse than that, he
insulted
me, and gnashed my teeth at me!''

A man went to his dentist because he feels

something wrong in his mouth.
The dentist examines him and says,
''that new upper plate I put in for
you six months ago is eroding.
What have you been eating?''
The man replies, ''all I can think of is
that about four months ago my
wife made some asparagus and put some
stuff on it that was delicious
... Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so
much I now put it on everything ---
meat, toast, fish, vegetables,
everything.''
''Well,'' says the dentist, ''that's probably the problem.
Hollandaise
sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly
corrosive.
It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new
plate, and this
time use chrome.''
''Why chrome?'' asks the
patient. To which the dentist replies, ''It's
simple. Everyone knows that
... there's no plate like chrome for the
Hollandaise!''