Various animal jokes 

What did one slug say to another who
had hit him and
rushed off?
I'll get you next slime!

Deep
within a forest a little
turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of
effort he reached the top,
jumped into the air waving his front legs and
crashed to the
ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree
again, jumped, and
fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again
while a couple
of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the
female bird turned to her mate. ''Dear,'' she chirped, ''I
think it's
time to tell him he's adopted.''

There once was a baby
elephant and
a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For
no
reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail,
really
hard.

Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up,
is by the same
river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when
the same turtle that
bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders
up to the river.

The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the
turtle as hard as he can,
sending him flying way off into the jungle.
''Why did you do that?'' the
giraffe asks. ''When we both were babies,
that turtle bit my tail for
no reason,'' the elephant replied. ''Wow!
You must have a good memory!''
exclaimed the giraffe.

''Yep!''
said the elephant. ''I've got Turtle-Recall.''

What's
black and white, stinks and
hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.

Which is the most dangerous animal in
the
Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper

How do you weigh a whale?
On Whale
Weigh Scales.

What is the best advice to give a worm?

Sleep late.

A family of tortoises went into a cafe
for some ice
cream. They sat down and were about to start when
Father Tortoise said, ''I
think it's going to rain. Junior, will you
pop home and fetch my
umbrella?''

So off went junior for
Father's umbrella, but three days later he
still hadn't returned.

''I think, dear,'' said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, ''that we

had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts.''

And a
voice from the door said, ''If you do that I won't go.''

What do you get if you cross a hedgehog

with a giraffe ?
A long necked toothbrush !

What's black and white and makes a lot
of
noise?
A zebra with a set of drums.

What do you get if you cross a zebra

with an ape man?
Tarzan stripes forever.

How would you get four reindeer
in
a car?
Two in the front and two in the back!
And how do you get
four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first

What's the difference between a
reindeer
and a snowball?
They're both brown, except the snowball.

What do you call the
reindeer with
one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah!

What has antlers, pulls Father
Christmas' sleigh and is made
of cement?
I don't know.
A
reindeer!
What about the cement?
I just threw that in to make it hard.

What did one skunk say to

another?
And so do you!

A skunk family had two little skunks
they called In
and Out. One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk,
Father Skunk and
young Out spent hours looking for him, getting
more worried all the time.

In the end the parents went home to
have a cup of tea, but Out said
he'd continue searching for a while.


Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following
behind
him.

'However did you find him?' asked Father
Skunk.

'In-stinct,' replied Out.

What do reindeer say before telling you
a
joke ?
This one will sleigh you !

Why is a reindeer like a gossip
?
Because they are both tail bearers !

What happened to the skunk who failed
his swimming
lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool!