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Náhodný vtip

Vies kedy ma ist blondina do dochodku? Ked sa prepadne cez barovu stolicku....

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Women 

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart?A: Straight through the rib cage.

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

These two women went out for a night on the town and got just totally sloshed. At the end of the evening they decided to take a short cut through a cow pasture after being unable to find a ride home. They became lost so split up to try and find the road home. One of the lushes doubled back only to stumble on the other flat on her back sucking on, and playing with a cow's udders. Her friend screamed ''what are you doing''? the other lush says ''shut up, with all these guys here someone'll drive us home''.

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

Q. Why is the section of body between a womans breasts and her croutch called a waste??A. You could fit another pair of breasts there Sent by sam

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

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Judy arrived home from her date, tossed her coat over a chair, her handbag over the banister, she threw her clothes around the bedroom without care. The next morning at breakfast, her mother asked her if she had a good time?''Oh'', sighed Judy, ''I had a wonderful time.''''I thought as much'', her mother remarked, ''Your underpants are still stuck to the ceiling!''

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair color?By studying what oil spills did to seaweed.

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, ''Come this way,'' and heads towards the back of the store.''If I could come that way,'' she tells the retreating clerk, ''I wouldn't need the batteries.''

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

Three Things Women Can Do That Men Can't:1. Bleed for a week and not die.2. Give milk without eating grass3. Bury an eight inch bone faster than any dog!

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, ''If you can read this you're too damn close'' embroidered on her panties and bra. ''Yes Madame,'' said the clerk. ''I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?'' ''Braille,'' she replied.

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

Commercial:Do Seagulls Circle your house?Does your boyfriend sing '' The shrimp boats are coming''?Do you make people vomit in the elevator?Try FDS!Feminnine hygene spray! two squirts will 'twinkle your twat'

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

The success of the ''Wonder Bra'' for under-endowed women, has encouraged the designers to come out with a bra forover-endowed women.It's called the ''Sheep Dog Bra''...It rounds them up and points them in the right direction.

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

The doctor said to the housewife,''I've got good news and I've got bad news.The good news is you don't have PMS.The bad news is - you're a bitch!''

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

Who makes all the bras for brunettes? Fisher-Price

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

This blind guy was walking pass the fish market and he said''Good morning ladies..''

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, ''I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!'' ''Oh NO! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive.'' ''I also heard thatyou've been calling me fat?!?'' ''Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are.'' ''I've also heard that you're saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!'' ''Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!''

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

An advantage of being with an older womanIf you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. Older women can afford to support you.

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

Whats the definition of a perfect woman ? a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it. b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in. c) The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turn into a roastbeef sandwich and a sixpack.

Hodnotenie:
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In a recent scientific research project, it was provedthat Beer contains the female hormone oestrogen.That's why after a six pack you can't drive.

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

''Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?'' asked John''Yes, I will.'' Paula replied.''Would you do it for one thousand?'' he asked.''Well maybe, or maybe I'd do something else for you.''she answered with a wink.''How about a blowjob for $20?'' responded John.''Hey! What kind of women do you think I am?'' Paula snapped, indignantly. ''That's already been established, Paula. Now we're just haggling over the price!''

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

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