Newest jokes

Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats?So they can see the old Polish Navy!

The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled.''Why so glum, Chum?'' asked the kindly stranger.''If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister?''

What do you get when you cross an Iraqi and a dog?An Iraqi.

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, ''Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'' The other replies, ''Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him.'' So that night he did and God replied, ''You are what you are.'' The next day he said to the other zebra, ''I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are.'' The second zebra responds, ''You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is.''

Why do Jewish Women go for circumcised men?Because they can't refuse anything with 10% off.

Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, ''How was I born?'' ''The stork brought you to us.'' ''Oh,'' said Little Johnny. ''Well, how did you and daddy get born?'' he asked. ''Oh, the stork brought us too.'' ''So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?'' ''Well, darling, the stork brought them too,'' said the mother. The next day Little Johnny handed in his paper to the teacher. It read, ''This report is impossible to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations.''

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small

bucket.
You do look a little pail.

Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59
seconds
to live.
Wait a minute please.

Doctor, I have a ringing in my
ears.
Don't answer!

What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he
saw she had
no clothes on?
It made him shy!

How did the hail stone describe it's
life?


-It really has a lot of ups and downs

How do rain drops marry?


-They
coalesce

Why was the lightning grilled on the
stove?


-To make heat lightning

Why type of lightning likes to play
sports?


-Ball lightning

How do they dance in Arabia?
Sheik-to-sheik
(cheek).

What's a vampire's favorite dance?
The
Fang Tango.

Q. Where can you dance in California?
A. San
Fran-disco

Q. Why did the line dancer cross the dance
floor?
A. To get to the other (Electric) Slide!

Why did the tadpole feel lonely ?

Because he was newt to the area !

What powerful reptile is found in

the Sydney opera house ?
The Lizard of Oz !