Newest jokes

Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and

Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo momma so bald head she put a weave cap on
and
it weave her cull

Policeman: Didn't you see my
lights
flashing?
Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of
light.

Policeman: Didn't you hear my
siren?
Motorist: Sure, that's why I sped up.

Policeman: Didn't you hear me

whistle at you?
Woman Driver: Sure, but I don't flirt when I drive.

Policeman: Did you realize you just

missed that bus with your car?
Motorist: Did you want me to hit
it?

Policeman: Are you going
to a
fire?
Motorist: No, I'm trying to prevent one. That's what my boss said

would happen if I were late again.

First monster: I
have a hunch.
Second
monster: I thought you were a funny shape.

Did you hear the
joke about the two
monsters who crashed?
They fell off a cliff, boom, boom.

How did the monster cure his sore throat?

He spent all day gargoyling.

On which day do monsters eat people?

Chewsday.

What do you call a monster with two wooden

heads?
Edward Woodward.

Why is a dog so
warm in Summer?
He wears a
coat and pants.

Why was the mother flea so unhappy?
All her
children had gone to the dogs.

Would you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or

a tiger?
I'd rather have him chase the tiger.

Why is a dog with a lame leg
like adding 6 and
7s?
He puts down the three and carries the one.

What world athletic sporting event is held every
four
years?
The Olympigs!

What is Chuck Norris' ''best karate move''?

Pork Chop!

What goes ''knio, knio?''
A backward pig.

Q: What did the blonde say
during a
porno?

A: ''There I am!''