Spelling jokes 

How do you spell elephant ?
E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t
''That's not how the dictionary spells it''
''You didn't ask me
how the dictionary spelt it !''

Fred came home
from his first day at
school. ''Nothing exciting happened'', he told his
mother, ''Except the
teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told
her''

Teacher: R-O-X does spell rocks?
Pupil:
What does it spell then !

THE teacher announced that to
practice
spelling, each member of the class would say what their fathers did

for a living and then spell the occupation.
Mary went first. ''My Dad
is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here,
he would give everyone
a cookie.''
Next came Tommy. ''My dad is a banker, b-a-n-k-e-r, and
if he were
here, he'd give each of us a quarter.''
Third came
Jimmy. ''My dad is an electrician.' But after struggling
through a
number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him
to sit
and think about it for a moment while she called on someone else.

She then turned to Johnny.
''My dad's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e,'' Johnny
said. ''And if he were
here, he'd lay you 8 to 5 that Jimmy ain't
never gonnaspell
electrician.''

Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling.
During an oral
spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word ''new'' on
the
blackboard. ''Now,'' she asked Johnny, ''what word would we

have if we placed a ''K'' in the front?''

After a moment's
reflection, Johnny said, ''Canoe?''

How do you spell a hated opponent with three
letters?
NME (enemy).

Spell mousetrap with three
letters.
C-A-T

Can you spell jealousy with two
letters?
NV (envy).

Spell electricity with three letters.
NRG
(energy).

Spell Indian tent with two letters.
TP.

How can you spell too much with two
letters?
XS (excess).

Spell extra wise in two letters.
YY (2
y's)

Can you spell soft and slow with two
letters?
EZ.

Can you spell very happy with three
letters?
XTC (ecstasy).

How can you spell chilly with two
letters?
IC (icy) .

How do you spell ''we'' with two letters

without using the letters W and E?
U and I.

What question must always be answered,
''Yes''?
''What does Y-E-S spell?''

Can you spell a composition with two
letters?
SA (essay).

Can you spell a pretty girl with two
letters?
QT (cutey).

Spell ''pound'' in two letters.
Lb.