Monster jokes 

What does a monster do when he loses his head?

He calls a head hunter.

First monster: I
have a hunch.
Second
monster: I thought you were a funny shape.

Did you hear the
joke about the two
monsters who crashed?
They fell off a cliff, boom, boom.

How did the monster cure his sore throat?

He spent all day gargoyling.

On which day do monsters eat people?

Chewsday.

What do you call a monster with two wooden

heads?
Edward Woodward.

Did you hear about the monster who had twelve
arms and
no legs? He was all fingers and thumbs.

HWhy did the monster lie on his back?
To
trip up low-flying aircraft.

What do you get if you cross a plum
with a
man eating monster?
A purple people eater.

What kind of monster can sit on the end of
your finger?
The bogeyman.

Little monster: Mom, I've finished. Can I

leave the table?
Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your
supper.

Where is the monster's temple?
On the
side of his head.

How do you communicate with the Loch Ness

Monster at 20,000 fathoms?
Drop him a line.

What should you call a polite, friendly, kind,
good
looking monster?
A failure.

Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three

headed mountain monster?
Girl: Really? What kind of fur?

Boy: As fur away as possible!

How do you address a monster?
Very
politely.

Did you hear about the monster who had an

extra pair of hands? Where did he keep them?
In a handbag.

How can you tell if a monster has a
glass
eye?
Because it comes out in conversation

What makes an ideal present for
a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

Did you hear about the
monster who lost
all his hair in the war?
He lost it in a hair raid.