HoUM
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Náhodný vtip

30 000 rokov pred narodením Krista. Praclovek si prezera vysvedcenie svojho syna a nahnevane vraví: To ze mas trojku z lovu viem pochopit, si este maly, ale ze si prepadol z dejepisu, ktory ma iba dve strany, je skutocne hanba.

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College jokes 

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Jokes found: 8543

What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps

at thin air?
Collecting his thoughts.

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Did you hear about the Penn State professor
who
went around in a revolving door for six hours because he
couldn't
remember whether he was going in or coming out?

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Did you hear about the UCLA track
star who
won a gold medal?
He was so proud of it that he had it bronzed.

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What do they call a bunch of Mississippi
football
players standing in a circle holding hands?
A dope ring.

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How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan?

Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten

minutes to answer.

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Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking

through the campus. ''Do you consider a 1441.Q. high?'' ''Yes!'' ''For the

whole basketball team?''

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Jeb and Eudell, University of
Michigan
athletes, were driving from Ann Arbor to Cleveland. Just outside
the
city limits they saw a sign: ''CLEAN REST ROOMS.'' By the time they

got to Cleveland, they'd cleaned 147 Johns.

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How many Buckeye
football players does it
take to change a lightbulb?
One. But he gets three hours credit.

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How can you
tell if a California State
coed is a good cook?
She can get the pop tart out of the toaster in
one piece.

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Did you hear about the University of Miami

fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?

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How does a New York University psychology
major turn on
his lights in the morning?
By opening the car
door.

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Higginbote and Goldstein, Fordham freshmen,

were discussing what kind of work would supply mem with big bucks
after
graduation.

''Well, I've always thought I'd like to be
a doctor,'' said
Higginbote. ''Specialize in something or other. Like
obstetrics, maybe.''

''Obstetrics?'' scoffed Goldstein. ''At the
rate science is going,
you'd no sooner learn all about it when
bingo! somebody'd find a cure for
it.''

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Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North
Carolina campus.

One day Tipton came in and said to his
roommate, ''I hear there's a
new case of herpes in the dorm.''


''Great!'' said Baldwin. ''I was getting tired of 7-Up!''

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Three students from Michigan State, the

University of Kentucky and Texas A & M on summer vacation in France were
caught
smuggling cocaine and sentenced to death by guillotine. The
judge
turned to the boy from Michigan and asked, ''Do you have any
final words,
son?''

''Yeah, drop dead!'' snapped the Wolverine.


Hearing this, the judge signaled for the sentence to be carried
out.
The executioner pulled the lever, and as the crowd gaped in
astonishment,
the giant blade came to a screeching halt three inches
from the
victim's throat.

''It's God's will! Let him go!''
cried the judge.

Next the fella from U. of Kentucky was put on
the block, and the judge
asked again, ''And what are your final
remarks, my boy?''

''Go to hell!'' shouted the student, and the judge
signaled. The
razor-sharp blade fell and miraculously stopped just
a quarter inch from the
condemned boy's neck. ''It's the wi
ll of God!'' exclaimed the judge.
''Set him free!''

Finally
the Texan was put into position. ''Before you're beheaded,''
said the
judge, ''do you have any last words?''

''Yeh!'' replied the Aggie.
''If y'all will just put a little more
grease on them grooves, the
blade'll come down a whole lot
easier!''

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Professor:
A wise man doubts everything.


Only a pin-head is positive.

Student: Are you sure of
that, sir?

Professor: Positive.

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There was the Florida State defensive tackle

who thought Hertz Van Rentals was a famous Dutch painter.

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Professor: I forgot to take
my umbrella
this morning.

Wife: When did you first miss it, dear?


Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had

stopped.

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''Where are my shoes?'' asked the Iowa State
professor as the class ended.

''They're on your feet,'' said one of
the students.

''So they are,'' said the professor. ''It's a good
thing you saw them,
or I would have gone home without them!''

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What is the second stupidest thing in the
world?

An Arkansas architectural student out in the middle of the
ocean trying
to build a foundation for a house.

What is the
stupidest thing in the world?

An Arkansas contractor trying to
build a house on the
foundation.

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Arvil was coming out of the Texas University
student building when he
was stopped by two coeds.

''Would
you like to become a Jehovah's Witness?'' asked one of the
girls.


''No, I really couldn't. I didn't see the accident.''

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