Newest jokes

What do you call a rich frog?
A gold-blooded
reptile.

What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's
sure fun when you're having flies!

Why did the toad become a
lighthouse keeper?

He had his own frog-horn.

What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's
new?

|While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs.A passerby commented to the blind man, ''What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?''To which the blind man replied, ''Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him.''

How many letters are there in the

alphabet?
Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Why is the letter N the
most powerful
letter?
Because it is in the middle of TNT.

Why is it difficult to
identify horses from
the back?
They're always switching their tails!

Why is manna from heaven like
horse
hay?
Both are food from aloft!

Why is the old, decrepit horse named

Flattery?
Because it gets you nowhere!

Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He
was a rough rider!

Eulus stood in front of the take-out

window of a Rawl-ins fast food restaurant. ''I want two hamburgers,''

he said. ''One with onions, and one without.''

The counter man:
''Okay. Which one's without the onions?''

What is the
best way to follow a lost dog's
paw prints?
With a track-tor!

What is the difference between Father

Christmas and a warm dog ?
Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just
pants!

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry
about
having soap flakes for breakfast?
He foamed at the mouth.

When George Washington was a general, why did he

like to have dogs around?
They were very helpful during the
''Roverlutionary War!''

Little Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park.Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum. Suzie asked, ''You wanna play doctor?'' Johnny replied, ''NO, that too old fashioned.Spit out you gum, I wanna play president.''

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, brightas a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the conceptof marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. ''Now do you understand?'' he asked. ''I think so,'' she said, ''is that when mommy came to work for us?''

Kid: Teacher can I go to the bathroom?Teacher: You have to say your ABC's firstKid: Ok,a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u, v,w.x.y, and zTeacher: Where's the p?Kid: It's running down my leg!!Sent by Jenna

A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom had been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. ''Look what I spelled, Mom!'' with a proud smile on his face. ''That's wonderful!'' his mom praised him. ''Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight.'' The mom happily thought that her son's Catholic education was certainly having an impact. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen: ''Mom? How do you spell 'zilla'?''