Newest jokes

Why do postmen carry letters?
Because the
letters can't go anywhere by themselves.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Picasso Barbie ...everything's in the wrong place

There is a new
Barbie doll on the
market - Steamroller Barbie ...doll squashed
flat

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Roadkill Barbie
...unrecognizable

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Barbie-Got-Run-Over-by-a-Reindeer ...an excellent Holiday gift
idea

There is a new Barbie
doll on the
market - Disco Barbie ...dressed in chiffon; inclbiudes disco
ball

Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a
new
tail?
To a re-tail store!

Who is the Easter Bunny's favourite movie
actor?
Rabbit De Niro!

Does the Easter Bunny like baseball?
Oh,
yes. He's a rabbit fan!

A man takes his sick dog to the vet. The vet lifts the dog ontothe the operating table, looks down and says ''Say ahhhhhhhhhhh!''The man looks at the vet and says ''The dog can't speak''.The vet says to the man ''I was talking to YOU. The dog,s dead!!!Sent by Peter

It's so easy to milk a cow. Any jerk can do it.

Q: What has four legs and eight arms?A: A pit-bull terrier at a children's play area.

Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for goodlooking females. One spots a real cutie sitting on apile of cow shit and dives down toward her.''Pardon me'' he asks, turning on his best charm,''...but is this stool taken?''

A guy walks into a pet store wanting a parrot. The store clerk shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. ''This one's $5,000 and the other is$10,000.'' the clerk said. ''Wow! What does the $5,000 one do?'' ''This parrot can sing every aria Mozart ever wrote.'' ''And the other?'' said the customer. ''This one can sing Wagner's entire Ring cycle. There's another one inthe back room for $30,000.'' ''Holy moly! What does that one do?'' ''Nothing that I can tell, but the other two parrots call him 'Maestro'.''

What usually comes after the monster

lights the birthday candles?
The fire department.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
To
keep their pants up.

Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28
days
?
Pupil: All of them !

Teacher: What is can't short for ?
Pupil:
Cannot miss
Teacher: and what is don't short for
Pupil: Doughnut
!

How can you
tell if a California State
coed is a good cook?
She can get the pop tart out of the toaster in
one piece.

Did you hear about the University of Miami

fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?