Newest jokes

Q: How many bikers does it take
to change
a light bulb?
A: It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the
other to kick the
switch.

Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals.

Juliet: Really?
Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.

Brian was dating
Lorraine and they were very
close. While they were dating he met another
woman named Clearly and
wanted to start dating her but felt that he should
be faithful to
Lorraine. So he continued to date Lorraine. One day
Brian took
Lorraine on a walk in the woods by the river. As they were
walking near
the river Lorraine fell in and was washed away. Brian softly
sang,
''I can see Clearly now, Lorraine has gone...''

A neighbor of
mine was bit by a stray rabid
dog. I went to see how he was and found him
writing furiously. I told
him rabies could be cured and he didn't have
to worry about a
will. He said, ''Will, what will? I'm making a list
of people I'm
gonna bite.''

Men are like department
stores.
Their
clothes should always be half off.

Jennifer: Are you coming to my party
?
Sandra: No, I ain't.
Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not
ain't. It's I am not
coming, he is not coming, she is not coming,
they are not coming.
Sandra: Blimey, ain't nobody coming ?

The second grader was in bed with a cold and

high temperature. 'How high is it, Doctor?' she wanted to
know.
'One hundred and three,' said the doctor.
'What is the world
record?'

Mandy was
applying for a summer
job.
'How old are you?' asked the owner of the store.
'I'm twelve
years old, Sir,' answered Mandy.
'And what do you expect to be when
you grow up ?'
'Twenty one, Sir.'

What's pink, has five toes, and is
carried
by the Easter Bunny?
His lucky people's foot!

What's long and stylish and full of cats?

The Easter Purrade!

What has long ears, four legs, and is worn on

your head?
An Easter bunnet!

If an electric train travels 90

miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the

north, in which direction is the smoke blowing?
There is no smoke
from an electric train!

What is the best thing to take when

you're run over?
The number of the car that hit you.

Mother Banana: Why didn't you go
to school
today?
Little Banana: Because I didn't peel well.

Spell electricity with three letters.
NRG
(energy).

Spell Indian tent with two letters.
TP.

How can you spell too much with two
letters?
XS (excess).

Spell extra wise in two letters.
YY (2
y's)

What kind of phone makes music?
A
saxophone.

Why did the girl who worked for the
telephone company
sing all the time?
Because she was an operetta
(operator).