Newest jokes

Whats green and goes round and
round at 100
miles an hour ?
A frog in a blender !

Whats green and goes round and round at 100

miles an hour ?
A frog in a blender !

Why was the frog down in the mouth ?
He was un
hoppy !

|''And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh?'' the priest asked at confession. ''I might as well confess to the whole stack, your Reverence,'' said Kavanaugh. ''I'm goin' after the rest of it tonight!''

|Boyle sat in a Belfast confessional. ''Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,'' he said. ''I've blown up three hundred miles of English railroad!'' ''All right, my son,'' admonished the priest. ''For penance, finish off the stations!''

I'm not ugly. I could
marry anyone I
pleased!
But that's the problem - you don't please anyone.

My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion.

Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.

What do hurricanes most like to eat for
dessert?


-Candy Canes

What did the primary rainbow say to the

secondary rainbow?


-Your pants are on backwards

How did the rainbow know is was
lost?


-It was a clear day

Why does frost not like to lay out in the
sun?


-It burns too easily

Why don't tornadoes watch Bill O'Reilly on

FOXNEWS?


-It is a no spin zone

How many Wake Forest
fraternity brothers
does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Seventeen. One to do it
and sixteen to shell the M&M's.

What do you
call ten Utah State law
students standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to
sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in his ears.

Did you
hear about the Western Kentucky
professor who kissed the door goodbye and
slammed his wife as he went
by?

And then there was the UCLA professor
who
opened up his vest, pulled out his tie and wet his pants.

|Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

|There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, ''Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying.''''No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.''

|A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.She looks the man up and down and says, ''I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!''The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, ''Man, I'm on the wrong bus!''