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Draha, zenie sa burka, pod sa schovat! Neboj sa stary, do teba neslahne, ty uz davno nikoho nepritahujes!

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What does an aardvark use when he has
a
cold?
An ant-ihistamine!

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What command does the aardvark give most often

when he sails?
Snout about!

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Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.

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0101.sk

Why did the women cross the road? Well thats

not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!

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Why are women
such bad
drivers?

Because there is no road between the bedroom and the
bathroom.

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One day at the entrance to heaven, St.

Peter saw a New York street gang.

walk up to the Pearly
Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God
and said,
''God,

there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do

I do?''.

God replied, ''Just do what you normally do with that
type. Re-direct
them down to hell.''

St. Peter went back to
carry out the order and all of a sudden he comes
running back
yelling ''God, God, they're gone, they're gone!''

''Who, the New
Yorkers?''.

''No, the Pearly Gates.''

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Three
guys found themselves in
Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett,
they were a little
confused at their present situation, and they were
startled to see a
door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps
the ugliest
woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4'', dirty, and you
could smell
her even over the Brimstone.

The voice of the Devil was heard,
''Brett, you have sinned! You are
condemned to spend the rest of
eternity in bed with this woman!'' And
Brett was whisked through the door
by a group of lesser demons to his
torment.

This
understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped
when a second
door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of

womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in
thick
black hair,and flies circled her.

The voice of the Devil was
heard, ''Carl, you have sinned! You are
condemned to spend the re
st of eternity in bed with this woman!'' And Carl,
like Brett, was
whisked off.

Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and
feared the worst when
the third door opened. And as the door inched
open, he strained to see
the figure of ... Cindy Crawford.
Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in
the sight of this beautiful woman,
dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he
heard the voice of the Devil
saying:

''Cindy, you have sinned.''

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Question: What is the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? Answer: Can I push your stool in?

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What's the definition of Polystyrene?
A
plastic parrot!

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What did the parrot say when he was using the

Internet?
P.Cs of eight, P.Cs of eight.

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Teacher: What's the definition of a
Polygamist?
Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!

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What geometric figure is like a runaway

parrot?
A polygon .

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|A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. ''Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?'' she asked. ''Well, no,'' answered the puzzled homeowner. ''But I have a wife and eleven children.'' ''Is that a record?'' she inquired. ''I don't think so,'' replied the man, ''but it's as close as I want to get.''

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|Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions.Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?Father: Ok ask.Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor.Father: !!!??????!!!

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What happened when the
witch went for a job as
a TV presenter?
The producer said she had the perfect face for
radio.

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|For a small fee, you can get an agency to have a pregnant ''ex-girlfriend'' appear at the service, in a wedding gown, claiming the groom-to-be the father of her child and demanding *she* should be the one to be married. The one I saw even had a bunch of dead flowers with her!

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A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters taped inside the crotch of his jeans. He looks around, then sits next to the most attractive woman there. He was very pleased with himself after he noticed her constantly glancing down at his crotch. ''Hi, there, I'm Jerry,'' he said, as he went into one of his well rehearsed routines, ''and I help produce a T.V. quiz show. Is there any question I can answer for you?'' ''As a matter of fact there is,'' she said as she glanced down once more toward his embellished jeans. ''Do you have change for a dollar?''

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A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, anthropologist and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented offices; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing their questionnaires and such. While the staff was busy getting ready for their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local drugstore for a cup of coffee. He sat down at the counter, ordered his coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate was so high. ''Sure,'' said the druggist. ''Every morning the six o'clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing. It wakes everybody up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to get up.''

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An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought helooked worried and asked him if anything was wrong. ''I'm scaredout of my mind,'' the stud replied. ''Some pissed-off husbandwrote to me and said he'd kill me if I didn't stop fucking hiswife.'' ''So stop,'' the barkeep said. ''I can't,'' the womanizerreplied, taking a long swill. ''The prick didn't sign his name!''

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A man arrives at the gates of heaven.
St.
Peter asks, ''Religion?''

The man says,
''Methodist.''

St. Peter looks down his list, and says, ''Go to room 24, but be very

quiet as you pass room 8.''

Another man arrives at the gates
of heaven. ''Religion?''

''Baptist.''

''Go to room 18, but be
very quiet as you pass room 8.''

A third man arrives at the
gates. ''Religion?''

''Jewish.''

''Go to room 11, but be very
quiet as you pass room 8.''

The man says, ''I can understand there
being different rooms for
different religions, but why must I be quiet
when I pass room 8?''

St. Peter tells him, ''Well the Jehovah's
Witnesses are in room 8, and
they think they're the only ones
here.

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0101.sk

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