Brother and sister jokes 

So you are distantly related to the

family next door, are you?
Yes- their dog is our dog's
brother.

A scoutmaster asked one of his

troop what good deed he had done for the day. 'Well,' said the Scout.

'Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby
brother
have it.'

Dan: My little brother is a
real
pain.
Nan: Things could be worse.
Dan: How?
Nan: He could be
twins !

First Boy: Why is your brother
always flying off the handle
?
Second Boy: Because he's got a screw
loose !

Dad: Don't be
selfish. Let
your brother use the sled half the time.
Son: I do, Dad. I use it going
down the hill and he gets to use it
coming up!

Big Brother: That planet
over
there is Mars.
Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa's.

My brother's just opened a
shop.
Really? How's he doing?
Six months. He opened it with a
crowbar.

Peter: My brother wants
to work
badly!
Anita: As I remember, he usually does !

Mum: Why does your little brother

jump up and down before taking his medicine?
Boy: Because he read
the label, and it said 'shake well before
using.'

My brother's one
of the
biggest stickup men in town.
Gosh is he really?
Yes, he's a
six-foot-six billposter.

Little Brother: I'm going to

buy a sea horse.
Big Brother: Why?
Little Brother: Because I want
to play water polo!

Why does your sister have yeast and

shoe polish for breakfast ?
Because she wants to rise and
shine.

My sister went
on a crash
diet.
Is that why she looks a wreck ?

Do you like my new baby sister ?
The
stalk bought her.
Hmm, it looks as if the stalk dropped her on
her head.

Michael: It's hard for my

sister to eat.
Maureen: Why ?
Michael: She can't bear to stop
talking.

Did the bionic
monster have a
brother ?
No, but he had lots of trans-sisters!

'What's your father's

occupation?' asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic

year.
'He's a conjurer, Ma'am,' said the new boy.
'How
interesting. What's his favourite trick?'
'He saws people in
half.'
'Gosh! now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?'
'One
half brother and two half sisters.'

Mummy Monster: What are you doing
with that saw and where's your
little brother ?
Young Monster:
Hee, hee ! He's my half-brother now!

My sister is so dim she thinks that

a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.

Alfie was listening to his

sister practice her singing. ' Sis,' he said, 'I wish you'd sing

Christmas carols.'
'That's nice of you, Alfie,' she replied. 'Why
?'
'Then I'd only have to hear you once a year !'