Christmas Jokes 

Why are Christmas trees like bad
knitters
?
They both drop their needles !

What do you give a train driver for
Christmas
?
Platform shoes !

What do you get if you
cross an apple
with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !

What did the bald man say when he got
a
comb for Christmas ?
Thanks, I'll never part with it !

Why is a burning candle like being

thirsty ?
Beacause a little water ends both of them !

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle
Bells, Jungle bells.. !

Why does Father Christmas like to work in
the garden ?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

Father Christmas win a saucepan in a
competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck !

What do
you get if you cross Father
Christmas with a detective ?
Santa Clues !

Can I have a broken drum for
Christmas?
The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat it!

What happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule
be happy !

What's fat and jolly and runs on eight
wheels?
Father Christmas on roller skates!

What's Father Christmas
called when he
takes a rest while delivering presents ?
Santa pause !

Why is a cat on a beach like
Christmas
?
Because they both have ''Sandy claws'' !

What do you call a man who claps at
Christmas
?
Santapplause !

What did the big cracker
say to the
little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !

Why does Father Christmas go down
chimneys?
Because they soot him!

Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No
you can have turkey like everyone else !

What bird has wings but cannot
fly
?
Roast turkey !

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas

cake ?
Your teeth !