Weather jokes 

Q:What did the tornado say to the car?

A:('You wanna go for a spin?')

What are the hottest days during

summer?
Sun-days

Q. What did the fog say to the light rain
after her
vacation?
A. I mist you.

Q: What did the hurricane say to the other

hurricane?
A: I have my eye on you.

Q: What's the difference between a horse

and the weather?
A: One is reined up and the other rains down.

Jill: How did you find
the weather on your
vacation?
Bill: I just went outside and there it was!

It only rains twice a
year in Seattle:
August through April and May through July.

What is hail
?
Hard boiled rain !

There is a Shreveport cable TV channel that

broadcasts the (live) video of the Shreveport radar and the audio of
the
NOAA weather radio station. When explaining why he knew he
should go
into meteorology, he said that when he was young, he would
sometimes
watch the channel even when there were no echoes, just for
fun.

Two
weathermen each broke an arm and a leg
in an accident, and called from the
hospital about the four
casts.

Q. What did one tornado say to the
other?

A. ''Let's twist again, like we did last summer....''

Q. What's the
difference between
'weather' and 'climate'?
A. You can 't 'weather' a tree, but you can
'climate'!

Q: What
did the thermometer say to the
other thermometer?
A: You make my temperature rise.

Q) How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in

fair weather?
A) He's got bugs on his teeth.

If you are standing in the main
street of
Amsterdam, and can't see the clock tower of the Central Railway

Station, that means it is raining. If you can see the clock tower, that

means it is about to rain.

Years ago, Nebraskans got tired of leaning

into the wind, having their top soil blown away, and chickens laying

their eggs two and three times. Seems the wind continually came down
from
Canada, and there was nothing between Canada and Nebraska to
stop it.
The farmers all got together and decided to build a fence
across the
North Border of the State of Nebraska. . . . the idea
being, to stop that
cold wind. It might've worked, too. The barbed
wire they used was
strong enough, .but the real problem was that a
couple owners of farms on
the upper boarder kept leaving their gates
open.

During the month of
June and July. Here in
the panhandle it got pretty hot in this area. In
Fact people were
even overworking in the heat. So one day I was working
outside in
the heat and then i thought i better get inside. My Boss
asked me
where i was going and i told him i am going inside to cool down .
He
said that i better get back to work. I said i cant, he said how

come.? Because it is so hot out here that i have to go inside to change my

mind.

Recently during the heavy rains they have experienced in
New
England the mail carrier for one neighborhood commeneted on the
''pouring
rain.'' Well , atleast the dew point is coming down!

Why were the vets and pounds
mad?


It was raining cats and dogs

Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with

sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was

completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A

silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the
only
remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue
squad rushed
to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting
there in the tub,
talking to herself.
''It was the most amazing
thing ... it was the most amazing thing.''
she kept repeating dazedly.

''What was the most amazing thing, Ma'am?'' asked one of the
rescuers.
''I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did
was
pull the plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn't suddenly
drain
away.''