Monster jokes 

What brings the monster's babies? The

Frankenstork.

How did Frankenstein's
monster eat his
lunch?
He bolted it down.

Did you hear about the monster who went to a
holiday camp? He
won the ugly mug and knobbly knees competition and
he wasn't even
entered.

How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built

his monster?
On a piece rate.

How does Frankenstein sit in his chair?

Bolt upright.

What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the
other?
I didn't know we lived on the same block.

Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to

death?
He had a crush on her.

Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when
suddenly
through the wall came the ghost of his monster, with a rope
round his
neck. Frankenstein said, ''Monster, monster, what are you
doing here?''
The monster said, ''Well, boss, they hanged me this
morning so now I've
come to meet my maker.''

What happened to Frankenstein's monster on

the road?
He was stopped for speeding, fined $50 and dismantled
for six
months.

Dr Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest

invention? It's a new pill consisting of 50 per cent glue and 50
per
cent aspirin.
Igor: But what's it for?
Dr Frankenstein:
For monsters with splitting headaches.

Igor: Only
this morning Dr Frankenstein
completed another amazing operation. He
crossed an ostrich with a
centipede.
Dracula: And what did he get?
Igor: We don't know - we
haven't managed to catch it yet.

What do you call a mouse that can pick up a

monster?
Sir.

What
happened when Dr Frankenstein
swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.

Monster: Someone told me Dr Frankenstein
invented
the safety match.
Igor: Yes, that was one of his most
striking achievements.

What does Frankenstein's monster call a
screwdriver?
Daddy.

What happened to Frankenstein's stupid son?

He had so much wax in his ears that he became a permanent
contributor
to Madame Tussaud's.

What does a polite monster say when he meets
you for the
first time?
Pleased to eat you!

Why did the monster stop playing with his
brother?
He got tired of kicking him around.

What do you call a monster with a
wooden
head?
Edward.

How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?

If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!