Letter jokes 

Which two letters are
rotten for your teeth?

D K

Why is the letter ''t'' so important to a stick
insect?
Without it would be a sick insect.

Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma

like I told you to? Yes Mom. Your handwriting seems very large. Well,

Grandma's very deaf, so I'm writing very loudly.

Crazy Aunt Maud received a letter one morning,

and upon reading it burst into floods of tears.
''What's the
matter?'' asked her companion.
''Oh dear,'' sobbed Auntie, ''It's my
favorite nephew. He's got three
feet.''
''Three feet?'' exclaimed her
friend.
''Surely that's not possible?''
''Well,'' said Auntie,
''his mother's just written to tell me he's
grown another foot !''

What do snakes write on the bottom of their

letters?
With love and hisses.

Have you ever seen a duchess?
Yes - it's
the same as an English ''s''

What's the definition of a school report?

A poison pen letter from the principal.

How does a ghost start a letter?
Tomb it
may concern.

Last night I wrote myself a letter.
But I
forgot to sign it and now I don't know who it's from.

What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from
his
girlfriend?
It's a dead letter day.

What kind of letters did the
snake get from
his admirers?
Fang mail.

Why did the young witch have
such
difficulty writing letters?
She had never learned to spell properly.

How did skeletons send each other
letters
in the days of the Wild West?
By Bony Express.

Betty was scribbling industriously over some
paper
with a pencil when her mother asked her what she was drawing.
''I'm
not drawing, Mom,'' she said indignantly, ''I'm writing a
letter to
Fred.'' ''But you can't write,'' Mom pointed out. ''That's all
right,''
said Betty, ''Fred can't read.''

What
did the werewolf write at the bottom
of the letter?
Best vicious . . .

1st vampire: How things?
2nd vampire:
Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I'm overdrawn
by 50 pints at
the blood bank.

I got an
anonymous letter today.
Oh,
really - who was it from?!

Teacher: Frd, give me a sentence starting with

''I.''
Fred: I is . . .
Teacher: No, Fred. You must always
say ''I am.''
Fred: Oh, right. I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet.

An Irishman went into a post office to see if
there were any
letters for him.
''I'll see, sir,'' said the
clerk.
''What is your name?''
''You're having me on now because I'm
Irish,'' said the Irishman.
''Won't you see the name on the
envelope?''

An old lady walked in to the post
office to
buy stamps and as she was short-sighted the clerk offered to
stick
the stamps on for her.

`Wait a minute,' he said, `you've
written the address upside down.'


`I know,' said the little
old lady, `the letter is going to
Australia.'