King Kong jokes 

What do you get if you cross King Kong with

a giant frog?
A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building
and catches
aeroplanes with its tongue.

After being away on business, Tim thought it

would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

''How about
some perfume?'' he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a
bottle costing $50.00.

''That's a bit much,'' said Tim, so she
returned with a smaller bottle
for $30.00.

''That's still quite a
bit,'' Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a
tiny $15.00 bottle.

''What I mean,'' said Tim, ''is I'd like to see
something really
cheap.''

The clerk handed him a mirror.

Why did King Kong join the army?
To learn
about gorilla warfare.

What's brown and furry on the inside and
clear on the
outside?
King Kong in clingfilm

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of

his feet brown?
So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut
butter.

What do you do if King Kong sits in
front
of you at the cinema?
Miss most of the film!

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big

Ben?
He found time-consuming.

Who is the smelliest, hairiest monarch in

the world?
King Pong.

What's big and hairy and climbs up the

Empire State Building in a dress?
Queen Kong.

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's
twisted it?
With a monkey wrench.

If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play

ping-gong and died, what would they put on his coffin?
A lid.

What is as big as King Kong but doesn't
weigh anything?
King Kong's shadow.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with
a
watchdog?
A terrified postman.

How do you catch King Kong?
Hang upside
down and make a noise like a banana.

What do you get if
you cross King Kong
with a budgie?
A messy cage.

What did King Kong say when he saw the
Statue of
Liberty?
''Are you my mother?''

What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the

kitchen?
Just don't monkey with him.

What do you get if King Kong sits on

your best friend?
A flat mate.

What do you get if King Kong sits on your
piano?
A flat note.