Horse jokes 

A stallion and a mare where due to get married,
but the stallion
didn't show up at the church.
He got colt
feet

Did you find my horse well

behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!

Did you
hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It
got angry and bit at the champ!

''Will I ever be able to race my horse again'' the

owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, ''You certainly will, and
you'll probably beat her
too!''

Did you hear about the depressed horse?
He
told a tale of whoa!

Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He
was the last of his race!

As horses say to one another.
Any friend of
yours is a palomino!

Did you hear about the horse that has made a

dozen films?
He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!

Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but

oats every day?
He fell in love with the Grand National
winner!

Did you hear about the Irishman who

couldn't tell the difference between his two horses?
His friend suggested
measuring them, that didn't help though, the
Irishman discovered
that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the
white one!

Did you hear about
the horse with the
negative altitude?
He always said ''Neigh''

Did you hear about the race horse that was so

late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!

Did you hear about the overweight
man who
took up horse riding as exercise?
The horse lost 15 pounds in a
week!

Did you hear about the man
with five keen
senses?
He still lacked common and horse!

Did you hear about the man who
received a
tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn't have enough money
tabaccer!

Did you hear about
the man who named his
horse Radish?

Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse:
Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!

How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under
each hoof!

How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two
pairs of stilts!

How do jockeys determine which
racehorses
are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!