Ghost jokes 

How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a

living?
By appearing in television spooktaculars.

What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at
his
local pub?
The landlord said ''Sorry, we don't serve
spirits.''

Why did the ghost work at
Scotland Yard?

He was the Chief In-Spectre.

Why did the ghost go to the funfair.
He
wanted to go on the rollerghoster.

What do you call a ghost that stays out all

night?
Afresh air freak.

What did the papa ghost say
to the baby
ghost.
Fasten your sheet belt.

Did you hear about the ghost who learnt to

fly?
He was pleased to be back on terror-firma.

What do you call the ghost who is a

child-rearing expert?
Dr Spook.

Which ghost ate too much porridge?

Ghouldilocks.

What is a ghost
boxer called?
A
phantomweight.

What happened to the ghost who went to a party?

He had a wail of a time.

Did you hear about the ghost comedian?
He
was booed off stage.

Who did the ghost invite to his party?

Anyone he could dig up.

What are pupils at ghost schools called?

Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls.

What do young ghosts write their homework in?

Exorcise books.

A butler came running into his important
master's
office.
''Sir, sir, there's a ghost in the corridor. What
shall I do with
him?'' Without looking up from his work the master
said, ''Tell him I
can't see him.''

Did you hear about the
ghost who enjoyed
doing housework?
He used to go round with the oooo-ver.

A man was staying in a big old
house and in
the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said,
''I have
been walking these corridors for 300 years.''
The man said, ''in that
case, can you tell me the way to the
toilet?''

Who said ''Shiver me timbers!'' on the ghost ship?

The skeleton crew.

What do you get is you cross a ghost with a

packet of potato chips?
Snacks that go crunch in the night.