Face jokes 

What is grey and hairy and lives on a man's face?

A mousetache.

Louise was watching her big sister covering her
face
with cream.
''What's that for?'' she asked.
''To make me
beautiful,'' came the reply.
Louise then watched in silence as she
wiped her face clean.
''Doesn't work, does it?'' was her comment.

Fred: You've got a Roman nose.
Harry: Like
Julius Caesar?
Fred: No, it's roamin' all over your face.

Fred: You have
the face of a saint.
Jill:
Really? Which one?
Fred: A Saint Bernard.

What happened when the
witch went for a job as
a TV presenter?
The producer said she had the perfect face for
radio.

Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up.

Harry: Do you think so?
Fred: Yes. It's so thick that if you tell her
a joke, five minutes
after she's stopped laughing her face is
still smiling!

Wife to
Husband: I'll have you know I've
got the face of a teenager!
Husband to Wife: Then you should give it
back, you're wearing it
out.

Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that
when a tear
rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and
rolls straight up
again?

Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face

and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. ''if I ever
stop
hating girls,'' said one to the other, ''I think I'll stop hating
her
first.''

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll
make an
exception.

You can read
his mind in his face.
Yes,
it's usually a complete blank.

First Witch: I like your toad.
He always has
such a nice expression on his face.
Second Witch: It's because
he's a hoptimist.

Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling

ugly faces.
Doctor: Don't worry, I don't expect anyone will
notice.

Fred: Do
you like my new hairstyle?
Harry:
In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.

My teacher's got a
pretty face if you can
read between the lines.

Counselor: Wash your face.
I can see what you
had for breakfast.
Henry: If you're so smart, what did I
have?
Counselor: Eggs.
Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!

What is the hottest part of a
man's
face?
His sideburns.

Why is your nose in the middle of your
face?
Because it is the scenter (centre).

Why is your face all scratched ?
My girlfriend
said it with flowers.
How romantic.
Not really, she hit me round
the head with a bunch of thorny roses
!

How did your mom know
you hadn't washed your
face?
I forgot to wet the soap.