School jokes 

Mother: What
was the first thing you
learned in class?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!

An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your

homework?
Pupil: My little sister ate it!

An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your
homework?
Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to
your already
heavy workload.

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is
your homework?
Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in
the washing
machine

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is
your homework?
Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn
it to stop
ourselves from freezing

Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why
were
you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: It's
three in the afternoon!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is
your homework?
Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so
they could study how
the human brain worked

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is
your homework?
Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved
away

Teacher:
Can anyone tell me how many
seconds there are in a year?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!

Teacher: Didn't you hear me call

you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!

Teacher: This is the third time I've had to

tell you off this week, what have you got to say about
that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!

Mother: What did you learn in school
today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know,
they haven't taught us how to read yet!

What's yellow, has wheels and lies on its

back?
A dead school bus!

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at

Fred's test paper.
Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!

Why did the teacher
wear
sunglasses?
Because his class was so bright!

Why was the headmaster
worried?
Because
there were too many rulers in school!

Did you hear about the cross eyed

teacher?
He couldn't control his pupils!

Teacher: What family does the octopus belong

to?
Pupil: Nobody I know!

Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my

questions?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point
in me being
here!

Little Monster: I hate my teacher.
Mother
Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!