Hair and bald jokes 

A man sitting in a barber's
chair
noticed that the barber's hands were very dirty. When he commented

on this, the barber explained, ''Yes, sir, no one's been in for a

shampoo yet.''

Why do barbers make good drivers?

Because they know all the short cuts.

Doctor, doctor, can you give me

something for my baldness?
How about a few pounds of pig manure?

Will that cure my baldness?
No, but with that on your head no one
will come near enough to notice
you're bald.

Why do bald-headed men never use
keys?
Because they've lost their locks.

Barber: Your hair is getting grey,

Sir.
Customer: I'm not surprised - hurry up, will you?

Why does a barber never shave a man with
a
wooden leg?
Because he always uses a razor.

What's a barber's favourite kind of
holiday?
Cruising on a clipper.

How much for a haircut?
Barber:
Fifteen dollars.
How much for a shave?
Barber: Ten dollars.

Right - shave my head.

A punk walked into a barber's shop and sat in an
empty
chair.
''Haircut, sir?'' asked the barber.
''No, just
change the oil, please!''

Barber: Were
you wearing a red scarf
when you came in? Customer: No.
Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have
cut your throat.

My barber is a specialist in road map

shaves.
How come?
When he's finished, your face is full of
short cuts.

Barber: And how
old are you, little
man?
Fred: Eight.
Barber: And do you want a haircut?
Fred:
Well, I certainly didn't come in for a shave!

Why did the bald man go outside ?
To
get some fresh hair !

Doctor, Doctor my
hair keeps falling
out, can you give me anything to keep it in ?
Yes, here is a paper
bag !

Teacher: I see
you don't cut your
hair any longer.
Fred: No sir, I cut it shorter.

When can you dive in a swimming pool and
not
get your hair wet ?
When your bald !

Janet came home from school and asked

her mother if the aerosol spray in the kitchen was hair lacquer.

''No,'' said Mom. ''It's glue.''
''I thought so,'' said Janet.
''I
wondered why I couldn't get my hat off today.''

Is that your face or are you
wearing
your hair back to front today?

What do you get if you cross a

hairdresser with a werewolf?
A monster with an all-over perm.

Fred: Betty has lovely long red hair

all down her back.
Harry: Pity it's not on her head!