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Náhodný vtip

Policajti zastavia na dialnici rychlo iduce auto. Pan vodic, vystupte z auta. Vodic sa vykymaca na cestu a ledva stoji na nohach. Ved vy ste uplne na mol, dychnite na mna! Vodic dychol, no nic nebolo citit. Skusime nieco lepsie - vravi policajt. Postavte sa na stred cesty na tu bielu ciaru a viete, co mate robit!? Vodic si klalne na zem, vytiahne zrolovanu bankovku, prilozi ju k nosu a zhlboka sa nadychne.

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Children jokes 

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Jokes found: 8543

A naughty child was
irritating all the
passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last
one man
could stand it no longer. ''Hey kid,'' he shouted. ''Why don't
you go
outside and play?''

Hodnotenie:
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Fred: Where does the new kid come from?

Harry: Alaska.
Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her myself.

Hodnotenie:
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Mother: Did you get a good place in the

geography test?
Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in
the class.

Hodnotenie:
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A little boy came downstairs crying
late
one night. ' What's wrong ?' asked his mother. Do people really

come from dust, like they said in church ? he sobbed. 'In a way they

do,' said his mother. ' And when they die do the turn back to dust
?'.
'Yes, they do.' The little boy began to cry again. ' Well,
under my
bed there's someone either coming or going !'

Hodnotenie:
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A little kid is sitting on a park bench
eating
abag of chocolates an old man walking by stops to say that if he

continues to eat like that he won`t live very long; indignantly the
kid says
'' oh yeah my grandfather lived to be 104 years old'' the
old man
replies ''i'm sure he did kid.but it wasn`t from eating all
that chocolate
''oh no sir'' says the kid, it was by minding his own
business !

Hodnotenie:
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An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to
her parents that
Billy Brown had kissed her after class.


''How did that happen?, '' gasped her mother.

''It wasn't easy,''
admitted the young lady, ''but three girls helped
me catch him!''

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

I had a funny dream last night, Mom.
Did
you?
I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was
asleep.

Hodnotenie:
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A little boy
went into a baker's' 'How
much are those cakes ? he asked
'Two for 25 cents,' said the
baker
' How much does one cost ?' asked the boy
'13 cents,'
said the baker
'Then I'll take the other one for 12 cents !' said
the boy

Hodnotenie:
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A man out for a walk
came across a little
boy pulling his cat's tail.
'Hey you!' he shouted, ' don't pull
the cat's tail !'
'I'm not pulling !' replied the little boy.
'I'm only holding on -
the cat's pulling !'

Hodnotenie:
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Did
you hear about the boy who wanted to
run away to the circus ?
He ended up in a flea circus !

Hodnotenie:
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What's the matter son?
The boy next door
said I look just like you?
What did you say?
Nothing he's bigger
than me !

Hodnotenie:
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'You boy !' called a policeman.' Can you

help ? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose called

Cotters......'
'Really ?' said the boy. 'What're his ears called
?'

Hodnotenie:
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As two boys
were passing the rectory, the
minister leaned over the wall and showed
them a ball.
''Is this
yours'' he asked
''Did it do any damage'' asked one of the boys
''No''
replied the minister
''Then it's mine !''

Hodnotenie:
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Did you hear about the two little boys who

found themselves in a modern art gallery by mistake ?
'Quick,'
said one, 'run ! Before they say we did it !

Hodnotenie:
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Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose
father was the
stronger. Will said,' Well, you know the Pacific
Ocean ? My father's
the one who dug the hole for it.'
Bill wasn't
impressed, ' Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea
? My
father's the one who killed it !

Hodnotenie:
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Did you
hear about the boy who was known
as Fog ?
He was dense and wet !

Hodnotenie:
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Young Jimmy was having a snack
after
school with his Gran. ' Would you like another cookie ?' she

asked.
'Yes, please,' replied Jimmy.
'What good manners you have,'
said his Gran. ' I do like to hear
young people say 'please' and
'thank you'.'
'I'll say them both if I can have a big piece of
that cake,' replied
Jimmy !

Hodnotenie:
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Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt
shaker yet ?
Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the salt through
all those
little holes !

Hodnotenie:
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Two boys camping out in a backyard wanted to

know the time, so they began singing at the top of their
voices.
Eventually one of the neighbours threw open his window and shouted
down
at them ''Hey, less noise!, don't you know it's three o'clock
in the
morning!''

Hodnotenie:
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Ben's dad was building a pine bookshelf and

Ben was watching and occasionally helping. ' What are the holes
for ?'
Ben asked.
'They're knot holes,' said his
dad.
'What are they, then, if they're not holes ?' asked Ben.

Hodnotenie:
Kliknutím na košík pridáš položku do zábavného košíka, z ktorého môžeš potom zábavu odoslať svojim známim.

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